If I breathe you in,
Will it help me remember what it was like not so very long ago?
I recognize you as more like me than these large people.
But I am still bigger than you and can protect you. And in this way find a powerful, peaceful part of me come forth.
For this moment
We are with each other
I like the me I am here.
* * * * *
When we, all ten of us, were in Mexico this past January, I took these photos of Cainan and his little cousin Anabel, 4 months. The same age Cainan was when we hauled him around Portugal and Spain.
Cainan has been of many moods lately, frequently a sort of general outrage at not being in control of his environment.
During this time he was interacting with Anabel, I saw what looked to me like a deep peace come over him, a gentleness and stewardship of this little being, whose personality is just starting to really emerge (he was scared of her when she first came out, and didn't relate to her at all).
Anabel seemed to respond to his presence, too.
I've noticed a quality of connection that comes from having spent uncomplicated childhood time together.
I once had a special friend, a most beautiful gay man named Scott (Scotty if you are reading this please get back in touch!), and we both had a feeling about one another that we had been special playmates as children. I found a photograph of me with a little boy, sitting in chairs side-by-side and staring up with four identical saucer eyes and round faces. I decided it was him. He also found a picture of himself with a little girl, two heads sticking up out of a pile of leaves. An astrologer told us we both had Venus and Mars in Cancer, so run with that if it means anything to ya.
Sometimes people can take us back to a slice of our own innocence. To a part of ourselves we haven't met in a long time.
I wonder if Cainan and Anabel as adults will connect to a slice of what it looks like transpired in these photos.
Comments