I'm thinking about intuition. Noticing how when I know something, I know it. I may story it differently, that is, I may attach different explanations, fictions or truths to how or why I know it, but...I know it. For example, I may stop and "tune into someone's energy" and know what kind of mood they are in. Or, I may decide I know this because of our recent conversations, and the path they were going down.
I notice a temptation to story things with less tangible narratives, and how that temptation has lately been giving in to a more rational bent--that is, I'm feeling more likely these days to look for the empirical, or scientific story to make sense of something. A crisis of faith? A rise of skepticism? The veneer of Northern California finally wearing thin?
I'm thinking about whiteness. How white people almost never bring whiteness and white privilege into a conversation, or want to talk for longer than say, oh, fifteen seconds, about how it might factor into a given issue, even while I'm thinking, Wow, I have a whole whiteness narrative I could attach to this that might illuminate a number of things.
I'm thinking about narrative. About narratives, AKA truths, fictions, stories, explanations, and how these structure the way we understand our worlds. Now I'm thinking about thinking about narrative. (Don't worry, I don't need to regress further than that.) Here are some of my thoughts about thinking about narrative. First off, if we never think about narrative, that is, if we never stop to ask ourselves what story we're attaching to a given phenomenon, moment or event, we take our own stories as truth. When we think about the way we're understanding something as "a story" rather than "the" anything, we open up the possibility for seeing it from multiple perspectives. When we have multiple perspectives, we have greater possibility choice: of point of view, of action, of result.
I'm thinking about how sometimes intuition comes first, and story later. About how emotion is different from intuition, but overlaps as well.
I'm thinking about consciousness, and stages of development, and how I used to twist my perceptions around some story about how we are all equal.
We ain't.
We're at different levels of evolution, and not just skewed by age. Our consciousnesses differ radically in how developed they are--along many axes. Knowing this helps me have more compassion, more acceptance for people (sometimes even including myself) for exactly where we are. It also helps me stand in my unapologetic hunger to be met exactly where I am, to have my consciousness mirror, be mirrored and reverberate with a similarly capacitated being.
Dayum, that feels soooooo good!
